I tend to be slash-oriented for the most part, and I have a genuinely hard time seeing Snape as anything but gay, his past with Lily notwithstanding. That's my personal canon, of course, and I wouldn't use it as a reason to dismiss Snape/Hermione. I just don't see the chemistry there - or, to be more precise, don't find it in myself. And I do like Hermione, partly because her flaws are the kind that interest me. But as pairings go, I'm much more likely to hook her up with Ginny, although that may owe something to their antagonistic relationship. There's at least some emotional charge there, and Ginny would never be cowed by Hermione's snotty intellectual pride, although I imagine she'd know enough to value it more than Ron does.

Apart from that, I avoid Snape/Hermione for all the reasons you list, even when I'm in an omnivorous Snape mood and willing to read outside my usual haunts. Not that the Snape/Hermione community is alone in turning Snape into a woobie or a reformed and reasonable man. Many Snarry writers leap blithely over his unsavory character traits without explaining where half his personality disappeared off to, and head straight for the heartfelt declarations.

Also *puzzled headshake* why anybody would think Heathcliff of all people is a suitable role model for romance is beyond me. He's a good template for Snape precisely because he's a vengeful and obsessive prick who destroys his own life and the lives of those around him; because he carries a motherfucking grudge and dwells on the past.

I could natter on, but alas, gainful employment beckons and I must heed the call.